since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are better fate
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
I would like to live
Like a river flows
Carried by the surprise,
Of its own unfolding
A liminal space: the place of transition, waiting, and not knowing.
Truthfully, this is where I sit right now. A place of not knowing what the right direction is. Can I be so quiet as to listen to my heart, my body, and feel? The past 6-months have been a flurry of diving into work, work that I love and have chosen to dive into. And in that same time the first things to leave in my life have been the things that take time: Meditation, doing dishes that aren’t mine, writing, photography, a feeling of slowness and ease, yoga.
Asking for what you want isn’t always easy. Getting clear on what you want can be even harder. And that’s where I’m stuck; A push and pull of the heart and mind on what feels right and what I think is right. With so much focus on being present, there is also value in knowing what fruits will come from the seeds you plant. Finding the balance between here, now, and there is one I am still feeling out.
Burning Man continues to be a catalyst for life change, or rather a way of showing you the infinite potential of life. That is if you’re into that sort of thing. So coming home from another Burn I continue to step back and re-prioritize what I’m putting my time into: Home, relationships, mindfulness, selflessness, and ease. Make time for stillness. Be grateful for the good problems I’m faced with.
Photos in order: Bolinas retreat with yerdle, teardrop project, tahoe, chai cart project, burning man
Be patient. Be mindful. Be loving. See the best in others. Prioritize feeling good. Prioritize relationships. Make time to do nothing. And really, just one thing at a time. Eat slowly. Be thankful. Be grateful. Rest. But don’t do any of these things like they’re a checklist. Keep them as reminders, especially when the tides are rough.
“One could do worse than be a swinger of birches”